Trials and Blessings

You know, Adam and I have had an easy go of it lately. Infact, when I look back at our marriage, we have had very few major issues and most were within the first 5 years we were married. Everyone said that building a house was the closest they had gotten to divorce, and we sailed through it. Sure, there were stressful times (ie what colors to choose, what flooring to choose, staying in the budget), but from the beginning I always felt like the Lord was directing us to this location and I knew that it was supposed to be. I think that made it easier, even if it was in my own mind. So, we Barnetts have coasted pretty easy for awhile and it has been rather nice I must say. And then came September...

September 5th Adam was laid off from his job. We knew his work was planning lay offs, but when he survived the first round back in April we thought he was safe. Then the day before "dooms day", Adam came home with a box of things from his cubical. I think he knew then. He wouldn't officially get any news until the next morning. I sat on the stairs and wept for him. He had put so much of his time, energy, and life into his job. He worked overtime, holiday, and even 24hrs straight. Why him? The best answer he got was that his project was wrapping up and was easier to let him go than to transfer him... Awesome. The first week or so after he was let go was hard on Adam. He felt angry and he missed the companionship of the friends he made there. I also can't imagine the weight of responsibility that he must have felt. Here we had built this beautiful new home and without a job, how could we survive? Lucky for me, my husband is just amazing. He went to workshops, job fairs, career counselors, met with placement agencies, interview after interview. And then a job came around at Beijer Electronics that sounded perfect for him. He interviewed and knocked it out of the park; he thought for sure it was his...and then he didn't get it. That was a blow. I remember praying for Heavenly Father to help Adam. To give him direction. Adam frequently attended the Temple and I saw him praying often. A couple weeks later we were talking in the car and I said, "Adam, you loved Beijer, maybe you ought to just apply for anything they have available." A few days later, he felt like instead of applying for the entry level position there, he should just give them a call. What could it hurt? He called and the HR rep said, "We are impressed that you called us; it just so happens we may have something for you." The next day he had another interview, the day after a phone interview, and by the end of the day a job offer. Seven weeks after he was laid off, he had found an amazing new job. One that he finds exciting and loves. Adam has gotten e-mails from others who were laid off asking what his secret to success is. We know that Adam did everything he could to find a new job and the Lord made up the rest. That is what he promises us and we saw and felt it through this time in our lives.

Now what I didn't mention was that normally during times like this, I would be a stark raving mess. When there is something wrong, I need it to be fixed immediately. My mind races and I have trouble focusing on anything else. My poor husband has to put up with this. However, while Adam was laid off, I had no anxiety. None. I know that is how the Lord blessed me personally during this time. I knew that if we had Faith, no matter how long the wait was, He would help us.

So, back to the trials. Besides my broken ankle (yeah that was awesome) we also had some wonderful news. Three days before Adam was laid off, we found out I was pregnant. We were beyond excited. Having a 5th child was something we had discussed for awhile, but it never really felt like the right time until the end of this Summer. So, even with the job lay off and the broken ankle we had that little ray of sunshine in our lives. The kids could not have been more excited. I wish I would have taped their reactions, because the pure joy on their faces was priceless. Everything I hoped for. Then the trial again.. Monday the 28th of October I started spotting. I called my doctor and he said not to worry. I tried not to worry. Halloween night it got worse and we decide to call our doctor after hours. He said there was nothing I could do but to come in the morning and check to see if everything was ok. So, November 1st, my 30th birthday, we went to our doctors and received the news. We had lost our baby. I was 12 weeks 2 days, but the baby was measuring a couple of weeks behind and there was no heartbeat. I know right? Man is it difficult to keep it together as you walk out of a doctor's office with many pregnant women in the waiting room. We got to the car, and I lost it. This was something that was not even on my radar. I have four beautiful children and never experienced a miscarriage before. Why now? I still don't know the answer and I don't know that I ever will. Adam was so wonderful and I continued on with all my wonderful birthday plans. He surprised me with an appointment to get my hair cut and colored, we went up to Logan and ate at The Elements restaurant (which was amazing), and we stayed the night at the Anniversary Inn. I am so thankful to my mom for watching my kids that night, because for many hours I sat in Adam's arms and cried. It has now been 10 days since we found out and it is still hard. I still cry. I still hurt. I am trying to rely on the Lord for his comfort, but I found that it is easier for me to pray for someone else's comfort than for my own.

I didn't think that this was something I was going to share, but I've been having a harder time with it than I thought that I would. I just felt like I needed to get it out. I am not looking for anything, I just needed to put my feelings down. It's hard and it sucks and I don't know where to go from here. But, I do know that I will keep going. I do recognize my past and current blessings. I couldn't ask for better children than the ones I have. The Lord has blessed me and will continue to bless me. He has his reasons, even if I don't agree or understand them. I trust Him, I love Him, and I know that He loves me. Thank you to everyone who has shown me so much love. It is much appreciated.

*An old picture, but I don't have very many with the 4 of the them together! Goobers. :)

Beginning of Summer

As I was looking at my blog and how pathetic it is, I thought I should do another post. And while I know that these posts are really just for myself, I know it's important to do them. As with most people, I feel like my blog is more of a journal than anything. Life goes by so quickly that sometimes we just forget things that have happened. The sad thing is that I hardly even take the time to get my camera out. I do take pictures on my phone, but well, we all know how good those usually are. So, here we go with the events that I remember from the last little while.

REESE

I realize that I haven't even written about my Ruby's baptism day. How sad it that? Reese was baptized on November 5th. She was absolutely beautiful that day and I was so proud of her for choosing to become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  She has the most sweet spirit and she truly knows the gospel. Reese is like a sponge and she definitely soaks up anything and everything she is told (which can be a good and bad thing). So, she loves learning about the gospel and asking questions. She always wants to be the one to read at family scripture and she loves writing down what we have read. Reese's baptism was also pretty special because it was the first time that Adam had ever baptized anyone. The next day, November 6th was actually the day we blessed Liam. Adam bore his testimony that day of how strong the spirit was when he baptized and confirmed Reese. It was really wonderful to see and feel the spirit around us those two days. I am so thankful for the gospel and the joy that it brings into our lives.

Reese was in 2nd grade this year. She's our little genius. Everytime I would go in for parent/teacher conference, her teacher would just go on about how creative, smart, and kind she is. Random story: while we were at the Kaysville Light Parade, a boy from Reese's class came and sat by us. He said, "Hi," to Reese and then turned to his dad and said, "Dad! That's Reese! She's the second smartest kid in my class!" Then I overheard him say that Kate Sargeant is the smartest. It made me chuckle.

Reese also was in a pre-comp dance class and tumbling this year. I am so proud of how much she has improved in her dance and tumbling this year.  I really hadn't notice much of a chance in her skills the other years, but this year she has really grown by leaps and bounds. Her recital dance was to Selena Gomez's "Love Song Baby", which she loved because she is slightly obsessed with Selena Gomez.  We are preparing for those tween years and can already see the attitude creeping in every so often. It should be an adventure...

This year was the last year Reese decided to play soccer. I love my daughter, but she is not a runner. She is more of a sprinter, so soccer was not her sport.  Adam and I had many a conversations about her walking or not paying attention on the field. I think that her long legs play against her in that department; she's just still is a bit awkward when she runs. She'll figure it out some day, but until then, she's decided to pass on soccer.  However, in her final game of the year, literally in the final second of the game she ran up and kicked the ball as hard as she could scoring the winning goal! Her coach said she just kept saying, "I've never scored a goal before!" and the coach told her, "Reese, you didn't just score a goal, you scored the WINNING goal!" She was so excited. We were so happy for her, and honestly, in a bit of shock.

In addition to all the other wonderfulness that is Reese, she is also a great big sister. She is always looking after and playing with Camryn. I am so grateful to her, because sometimes I don't feel like it is possible to keep up with Liam and Camryn and Reese is right there to take Camryn to play Barbies. Reese and Noah have a little bit more of a love/hate relationship. She has kind of hit that point where sometimes she just doesn't want to play with Noah, which is hard for me to explain to him. However, they still can laugh harder than anyone and play like they are best friends. If only it could be like that all the time. Reese is so sweet with Liam. She loves to talk to him, try and teach him how to do new things, and above all make him smile.

NOAH

Noah, Noah. He is one big ball of energy. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Reese and Noah could not be more opposite. Reese never had a problem playing on her own; Noah is constantly asking for someone to play with him. Reese was fairly even tempered; Noah's emotions are always at the surface. Reese is very shy; Noah will talk to anyone and everyone. Reese is terrified of a lot of the rides at Lagoon; Noah will go on anything. And the thing about Reese and Noah is that they are either best friends or cannot get a long to save their lives. Anyway, Noah is a great friend to others. We constantly have his friends' parents tell us how much they love Noah, that he is the sweetest boy, and they could just keep him for their own. Luckily, this wonderful little boy is mine.

Noah was able to play soccer for the first time this year and he absolutely loved it. He is small, but man does that kid have fire. He always tries his hardest and really improved in the Spring games. He also got to play coach pitch baseball this year. He did so great! He did get a little restless when it was his team's turn to be in the outfield, but I say it was par for the course at this age. 

Along with Noah's energy comes his zillion questions. I mean, Reese asked questions, but Noah is just non-stop. And I spend most of my day answering his many questions or hearing, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mooooommmmmyyyyy!!" At least 3 times a day I hear my self say, "NOAH! I heard you the first time! Once is enough son!" I have a feeling his many questions will lead to some interesting conversations (i.e. how does the baby get out of your tummy?).

I think the general theme when it comes to Noah is that he tries really hard at everything he does. He is struggling with his reading, but he really wants to read and he works hard at it. Another example is him practicing his running. He is so funny; to practice his running he has us time him running down the hallway that is the length of our house. I must say though, he has improved his time greatly since this began. And now my favorite example: one day when I was picking him up from primary, the chorister stopped me and said, "Your Reese is just such a beautiful singer, she does so well. And Noah...he just tries so hard." Adam and I still giggle about that because it is so true of him. Whatever Noah does he is trying to his best.


Well, seeing as the post literally took me months to finish (as since I wrote about Reese and some about Noah we have sold our home and we are living at my mom's while our house is being built), I think I'll post and come back to Camryn and Liam at another date. So much more to write about, especially about my two youngest and craziest. Those two certainly keep me on my toes!

Sorry again for the novel, if you got through it that is. :)

Liam's Birth

Well, I may have a minute between feeding/changing/wrangling kids, so I think I'll finally take this chance to write out Liam's birth story.

Saturday September 10th, I started having contractions. They were pretty strong, so much so that I didn't make it to Reese's soccer game. I stayed home to shower, get ready, and pack a hospital bag. They were getting stronger, but where staying 15 mins apart. After Reese's game was over Adam picked me up so we could run to the store and grab some things for the hospital and kids. I had never gone into labor on my own before, so I wasn't sure this was the real thing, but I wanted to be prepared. Next was Noah's game...contractions still 15 mins apart...My mom came to the game and was convinced today was the day. I was still skeptical.

After the game, we decided to go to Cafe Rio and grab some lunch. The contractions slowed, but the couple I had were really strong. Still hoping, when we got home I started walking. I walked up and down my hallway, up and down my stairs, out on my deck, anywhere really. Contractions started to fall back into a pattern of 10 mins apart. Adam gave his mom a call and gave her a heads up. For hours they stayed 10 mins. Some were strong, some not so bad. At 9 pm, Adam convinced me to go to the hospital just to get checked out. My mom came over and sat with the kids and up to the hospital we went.

When they checked me I was 4.5 centimeters...better than the 3.5 the previous day...but not really effaced more than 70%. My doc was "on vacation" until midnight that night. Great. So, the on-call doc said to watch me for an hour and if I had changed I would get to stay, if not I would be sent home. An hour later, no change. They sent me home with 2 ambien and told me to rest because I would probably be back the next day (yeah, yeah).

So, I went home at midnight and fell asleep immediately. At 3 am I woke up with contracations 3 mins apart. Adam wanted to go straight back to the hospital. I was so tired, and not wanting to be sent home again, I said I wanted to go back to sleep and if it got so intense that I couldn't sleep we would go. The next morning, Sunday, September 11, I woke up with nothing, absolutely nothing. It was all a false alarm, I thought. I slept and rested most of the day. At 2 pm I asked Adam to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. He seriously makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches ever and that day was no exception. After that I started to feel a few contractions here and there again, but didn't really say anything to Adam. I went back to sleep in our bed.

At 3:30 I woke up to my strongest contraction yet...holy moly...so I said Adam, I'm gonna take a bath and relax and see if they get stronger or fade away. I got in the bath and it was like everything moved into warp speed. My contractions quickly jumped to 5 mins apart. By 4:15 Adam wanted to call my mom and I wanted to hold off because I didn't want to be embarrassed again by another false alarm trip to the hospital. 4 mins apart...ok, I'm starting to get nervous...I get out of the tub and yell, "Adam I'm having another one!" "What?! That was only 2 mins apart!" "Well, Hun, I don't know what to tell you but I'm having one and it hurts!" So, he called my mom and she hurried over.

When she got there, I tried to act all casual, "No really, I'm fine. It's probably nothing." Then I sat in my bar stool and had a contraction that brought tears to my eyes. My mom assured me that it was time to go to the hospital. On the way up, they continued to be 2 mins apart and were very painful. When we got to the hospital, me being a dork, said, "Adam, lets just wait a few more mins, maybe walk around the hospital?" It's amazing how inbetween contractions you can feel completely normal. He told me we should just head up. When we were about to walk in the hospital I had another contraction and said, "You better call the Monsen's (to replace my mom) and your parents." This was just after 5 pm.

On the way up to maternity I had a contraction so bad I couldn't walk out of the elevator and awesomely there were people standing outside the elevator doors waiting for us to exit. Uh, hello, I'm in labor! So, I got out of the elevator as quickly as possible. I got into the maternity triage and they checked me 5cm and 90%. The nurse said, "You're definitely in labor, I'm calling your doctor." She had another nurse get the IV going while she was filling out the paperwork (sensing the urgency). I did have it pretty much together still, but was deseperately hoping for that epidural. I told the triage nurses, "just so you know, when my water breaks, I always deliver my babies within an hour." They replied, "Oh really? That's fast, wow, ok." I never know whether they ever really believe me or not, but they would soon find out....

At 5:45, I was finally ready to go to a room. They had called the anathesiologist, but he was at home...awesome...so he was "on his way". They asked me if I wanted a wheel chair or if I could walk to my room. I thought to myself, "I'm between contractions, I'm feeling good, I can walk." I stood up and my water broke. CRAP! I thought, but what came out was, "Uh-huh, I think my water just broke!" They hurried me down the hall and to my room. This is where things started to get a little surreal. The pain was crazy and it only took 5 mins before my nurse said that she needed to check me. 9 cm and 100%. The pain was sooooo bad.

I remember screaming (yes, and I'm still embarrassed) 3 times. I remember saying the cliche, "I can't do this!" and I remember the nurse saying, "Yes you can, but you have to breathe!" That was seriously the last thing I was thinking about. All of a sudden I knew I had to push, which I also shouted, and was told to go ahead. Three big pushes later and my Liam was born at 6:03 pm. I remember crying hysterically and saying, "My baby! My baby!" as I held him in my arms for the first time. It was definitely the most emotional 30 mins of my life. The funny thing is, it is what I was afraid of happening the entire time I was pregnant. But he was here and he was beautiful. 7lbs 4oz, 19.75 inches. My tallest and 1oz smaller than my heaviest.

Some fun fact:
-The nurse delivered Liam, but my doctor made it to deliver the placenta.
-The anathesiologist was still at home when he was born.
-The nurses officially inducted me into the "Pop and Drop Club" since it was 18 mins from my water breaking till he was born.
-Adam's parents had only made it to Spanish Fork, which is 10 mins from Payson, by the time we called to tell them Liam was born.
-My mom made it for my last scream and mins before he was born, but it was a very close call.

Now for the pictures:

Catching up...again.

I feel like such a slacker. You know what, I'm gonna blame it on the fact that I lost my camera for like 6 months. So, here's the break down of the Barnett Family lately:

1. We are selling our house! Adam and I have struggled with this decision since Camryn was born. We knew we would probably have another baby not too long after Camryn and so we had to figure out what our next move was. We LOVE our house and we LOVE, LOVE our neighborhood, but we knew that we didn't want to finish the last two rooms in this house. We have invested enough into this house and we didn't want to invest any more knowing that we were definitely going to move at some point. We looked for a property to build on for close to 8 months. We were stubborn and kept insisting that we stay on the East Side of Kaysville. We love how convienent it is for Adam to jump on 89 and get to work; we also love how easy it is to get to Grammy's house. After all those months of looking, Adam really liked one property in particular and I just could not get on board. The property was at the top of our price and not much bigger that the land we have now. We finally decided that maybe we were looking in the wrong place. So, West Side we went and I absolutely fell in love with a particular property. It was a good amount less than on the East Side and almost .48 acres. Yeah, we knew it was where we were supposed to be...the next question was when? We decided to put our house up and many weeks went by with no interest at all. Last week, I was particularly frustrated; we have our house plans ready and we are seeking bids from contractors, but what good is it if our house doesn't sell? I drove out to our property, parked in front of it, and prayed. I just wanted to know if we were making the right decision...1 hour later our realtor called to let us know we had our first showing. Call it coincidence or a sign or whatever you want, but I told Adam that I think the Lord is trying to tell us to be patient. No, the people who came did not put an offer on our house, but I have faith it will happen when it's supposed to happen. More importantly, I was reassured that we are making the right decision.

2. Baby Boy Barnett is on the way!! We could not be more excited, and honestly nervous, to add this little boy to our family. I can already tell he is gonna be a nut. With the other 3, I really didn't really feel them move a lot till about 20 wks. Even crazy Camryn was pretty quiet till then. I have been feeling Lil' L since about week 15! The other day Adam and I were finally able to see him moving from the outside, which was really fun. We call him Lil' L, because he doesn't exactly have a name yet. We've narrowed it down to Liam Smith or Lucas Smith. I prefer Liam, honestly, but Adam can't decide and I'm letting him have the final decision. He goes back and forth almost daily. I know whatever name he picks, it will fit him and fit in the family and we will love it. Oh and my due date is September 26th, Reese's birthday. I hope he comes 2 weeks early!

3. We are busy!! Between dance, soccer, t-ball, being an activity days leader, school, etc, we are just plain busy! Reese has been doing great during Spring soccer. We love to watch her play. Noah and her are already signed up for soccer in the Fall. Since Noah will be going to Kindergarten this Fall, he final gets to play and he is SOOO excited. Noah also just started t-ball last week. I don't think he has stopped talking about it since his first practice. Tomorrow is his first game. I'm not actually sure how the games work, because there are not strikes, outs, or runs. Hmmm, oh well, we are excited. Reese's dance recital is in 3 weeks. This is the first year that I have no idea what the song is and have not seen any part of the dance. The only thing she has told me is that there is a cartwheel in it, which she is super stoked about.

I think I could make a whole post about how busy my Lamby (Camryn) makes me! I think the best way to explain it is that I have never baby proofed before, but with Cam, we have the super door locks on cabinets and every outlet definitely has a safety plug in them. If she can, she will get into everything and anything. She also is clingy. She has her days where she is literally attached to me. I don't know how that is going to work when the baby comes, but we will just roll with it. Lamby is also a goof! She has THE biggest personality. She knows what is funny and frequently uses her goofy/funny/cuteness to her advantage. Favorite phrases I hear Camryn say: "Wah Doh" aka Let Go, "IGiChu" aka I get you, "Nini" aka Grammy, "Tank Chu" aka Thank You. One of my favorite things is singing with her. I'm going to try and find the videos of her singing her favorite songs; it melts my heart every time I watch them. We do not know what we would do without her crazy bum.

Well, I think those are the major things happening with us, and I have probably tired your eyes out with how long this post is, so until next time!

Miss Reese

I realized that I am seriously lacking in the posts about my Dolly. Maybe it's because she is so "grown-up" and responsible. Or, maybe it's because she isn't changing as often as the other two, but I feel like I need to right this situation.

Reese Donna-Lyn

Age: 7 1/2 yrs old

Favorite Colors: Blue and Pink

Favorite Food: Steak and Rice-a-Roni Box noodles, spaghetti, carrots, salad, any veggie really. She genuinely wants to be healthy and talks about it a lot.

Favorite Person: Camryn, definitely.

Loves: Dance, school, reading, Webkinz, Barbies and Barbie movies, helping Mom

Reese is really getting older. She is in the transitional age between little kid and big kid, so she is just starting to watch older kid shows and listen to Taylor Swift and is phasing out of Disney Princesses andsuch. She is so funny, because she can get so serious about things. She always feels really bad when she hurts anyone's feelings or does something wrong.

She is an amazing reader. It is rare that she runs into a word that she cannot read. When we had her SEP conference after the first term, her teacher said they didn't have anything to teach her and just didn't know what to do with her, because she just does her work as she is asked and gets done quickly. She is a wiz at math and scored the highest in the class on the state assessment, she also was one of the first in her class to understand addition of several numbers vertically.

Funny thing I often hear from Reese: "Ya know Mom, sometimes when Camryn is alseep, instead of going to bed, I get up and clean my room." She complains a lot about having to help clean the basement or Noah's room (if they've made a mess in there), but she really enjoys having a clean room and at least once a week I hear her say she needs to "organize her dress up closet."

Reese has an amazing memory. Out of nowhere she'll say, "Mom, remember when..." and she'll tell me something from 4+ yrs ago.

One thing that Reese struggles with is being scared or nervous about a lot of things. She gets out of bed and checks if we are still here if we are in the basement and she is upstairs, she is terrified to pierce her ears (eventhough she really wants to) because she is scared of how much it will hurt, she will not ride 99% of the rides at Lagoon, she believes anything people tell her even if it is a crazy made up story about how their family is all vampires... my tender-hearted little girl just honestly has been a little sheltered. I'm very particular about what I expose my kids to and some may think we're crazy, but we want to keep our kids, kids. Anyway, she's getting better about putting things into perspective and she is getting braver.

I really couldn't ask for a better daughter. She is just so darn sweet. She tells me she loves me, that I'm beautiful, and that she loves being in our family. I love my Dolly to pieces and love having her in our family!

Camryn Walks

So Camryn has basically been able to walk for 2 months now. She would walk a few steps, up to 10, to things and occasionally back and forth from me to Adam. Well, tonight she just took off. Just shows the little Sass has a mind of her own.

We love you Camsy.

Annual Elf Yourself